How to help your mentee focus on what truly matters in these uncertain times
In times of crisis and especially with high levels of uncertainty as we are experiencing today during this unprecedented global pandemic, it is particularly helpful to focus on what truly matters: our peak experiences and core values.
Where to start
During these times your mentee may be feeling a mix of emotions that can temporarily derail them from their goals and affect your sessions together. As a mentor, you can help your mentee by first acknowledging the situation and allowing them the space to express any feelings of distress.
A few questions you can ask to better understand their struggles and concerns:
Where in your personal or professional life are you most struggling right now?
What does stress look like for you during this time?
It sounds like you’re anxious about this particular situation. Can you tell me more?
Listen with ample empathy and compassion and feel free to show your own vulnerability by also acknowledging how things have changed for you. Pay particular attention to the feelings underneath their words: Do they sound excited? Anxious? Scared?
Also, encourage them to be specific about their goals. In listening to them in conversation, see if you can gather:
What’s more important to them and why?
Asking why can reveal their motivation and key into their core values.
What can they specifically do to move towards their goals?
This can bring clarity to their action plan and also certainty in what they can control.
Using mentee peak experiences to uncover their values
You can help them stay on track with their goals or point them toward a new direction (if it is time for reassessment) by helping them uncover their values.
With guided questions, you can help them focus on the things that align with their values and that they can control.Ask your mentee to think about peak experiences – those times in their life when everything was “flowing.” These experiences could have lasted a few minutes, hours, or weeks.
Have them think of 20 as a homework assignment. During your next mentoring session, ask your mentee to pick one and share it with you. Note: remind them it doesn't have to be the most perfectly thought-out one; have them focus on the one that sticks out the most to them.
A few guiding questions to help them define their peak experiences
What was important about this experience?
What was happening at that time?
What values were you honoring during that time?
What got you excited about that experience?
What made that experience flow?
What held your interest in that experience?
Then proceed by guiding them through a few other peak experiences. What you will see develop are some common threads of things that are important for your mentee. These are their values.
After the two of you have identified a few values, you can talk with them about where they are or aren't getting those values met. If there are areas where their values are being met, can they expand those activities? If there are areas where their values are not being honored, what might they be able to change about those experiences?
As a follow up homework, you could ask them to think about what value they want to honor more in their life during these times and bring it for discussion in your next mentoring session. This will give you great insight in how to shape the following mentoring sessions to guide them toward goal progression while honoring their true values.
Supporting resources
Our in-house executive coach, Corinne Bru, recommended Designing Your Life by Bill Burnett & Dave Evans (#1 New York Times bestseller on goal setting from a holistic perspective) to one of our mentees to help them get clarity on the question, "What do I want to be when I grow up?" It gave them the opportunity to reflect on what was important to them and what their career desires were, helping them focus on the next steps. We highly recommend encouraging your mentee to read this book along with answering the questions we've offered here.
And, there's a great article, Social Distancing Doesn't Have to Disrupt Mentorship, from the Harvard Business Review sharing reflections, insights, and tips on how to continue offering value and creating a productive, high-touch mentoring relationship with your mentee even during the constraints of social distancing.
Azucena Perez
VP Mentor Programming
Azucena, as the VP of Mentor Programming at Ceresa, serves as the key representative for all mentors and mentor initiatives.
Her priority is supporting our mentors to reach their career goals, providing exclusive programming and guidance.
If you have any questions about the mentor program or community, she'd love to hear from you.
Want to learn more? Contact Azucena.